Names with funny meanings

UNISEX:

CAM: Short form of Scottish unisex Cameron ("crooked nose"), and other names beginning with Cam-. Compare with another form of Cam.

CAMERON: Scottish surname transferred to unisex forename use, from the name of the great Highland clans whose ancestor had an ungraceful proboscis, composed of the Gaelic elements cam "bent, crooked" and sròn "nose," hence "crooked nose."

CORTNEY: Variant spelling of English unisex Courtney, meaning "short nose."

COURTNEY: English surname transferred to unisex forename use, derived from the French baronial name Courtenay, from the byname court nez, meaning "short nose."

KENNEDY: Irish surname transferred to unisex forename use in honor of the assassinated American president John F. Kennedy, derived from an Anglicized form of Gaelic Cinnéidigh, meaning "ugly head."

KORTNEY: Variant spelling of English unisex Courtney, meaning "short nose."

KOURTNEY: Variant spelling of English unisex Courtney, meaning "short nose."

MALE:

AMLODI: Anglicized form of Icelandic Amloði, possibly meaning "heavy" or "the dullard."

AMLÓÐI: Icelandic saga name from Snori Sturlasson's Skaldskaparmal, possibly a translation of the Latin name Brutus, meaning "heavy" or "the dullard."

AMLUÞ: Anglo-Saxon form of Icelandic Amlóði, possibly meaning "heavy" or "the dullard." This name appears on an eight-century runic inscription on the Westeremden yew-wand.

AMLUTH: Variant spelling of Anglo-Saxon Amluþ, possibly meaning "heavy" or "the dullard."

AMMADON: English surname derived from Gaelic amadan, meaning "numskull, simpleton."

BABIECA: Spanish name meaning "a simpleton; stupid." This was the name of the white Andalusian steed belonging to El Cid. According to legend, Babieca was frail and wild and when El Cid chose her, his godfather exclaimed "Babieca!" and so this became his name. But Babieca was not stupid; he became a great and famous warhorse and El Cid loved him so much he requested that he be buried with him in the monastery of San Pedro de Cardena. Unfortunately, his wish was not granted; instead Babieca was buried before the gate of the monastery and two elms were planted to mark the site.

BALLARD: From an Old English derogatory name for a bald-headed person; it became a surname, then transferred to forename; derived from Middle English balled, meaning "rounded like a ball," hence "bald-headed."

BAMBER: German byname meaning "short and fat."

BASSETT: English name derived from the Old French word basset, a byname for a short person, derived from a diminutive form of the word basse ("low, short"), hence, "shorty."

BRIAN: Old French derogatory byname derived from the Old Occitan word brian, meaning "maggot." Compare with another form of Brian.

BRICKEL: South German byname related to the word bröckel, a diminutive of brocken "chunk," hence "little chunk," denoting a short stocky person.

BRODIE: Modern English variant spelling of Irish Brody, meaning "ditch."

BRODY: Irish surname transferred to forename use, meaning "ditch."

BRÓGÁN: Old Gaelic name composed of the word bróg "shoe," and a diminutive suffix, hence "little shoe."

BROGAN: Irish surname transferred to unisex forename use, from Gaelic Ó Brógáin, meaning "descendant of Brógán," hence "little shoe."

BRÖKK: Old Norse myth name of a dwarf who, along with his brother Eitri, made magical objects for the gods, including the hammer of Thor, probably derived from the Nordic element bróka, meaning "breeches."

BRUTUS: Roman Latin name meaning "heavy" or "the dullard."

CADE: English surname transferred to forename use, originally a byname for someone or something "round and lumpy."

CALBHACH: Irish Gaelic name meaning "bald."

CALVAGH: Variant spelling of Irish Gaelic Calbhach, meaning "bald."

CALVIN: English name derived from Latin Calvinus, meaning "little bald one."

CALVINO: Italian form of Latin Calvinus, meaning "little bald one."

CALVINUS: Latin form of the French surname Chauvin, from a diminutive of Norman calve ("bald"), hence "little bald one."

CAMP: English short form of Scottish Campbell, meaning "crooked mouth."

CAMPBELL: Scottish surname transferred to forename use, composed of the Gaelic elements cam "bent, crooked" and beul "mouth," hence "crooked mouth."

CAMRON: English masculine variant spelling of Scottish Cameron, meaning "crooked nose."

CANUTUS: Latin form of Old Norse Knútr, meaning "knot." In use by the Norwegians and Swedish.

CINNÉIDIGH: Irish Gaelic name composed of the elements ceann "head" and éidigh "ugly," hence "ugly head." Kennedy is an Anglicized form.

CNUT: Variant spelling of Scandinavian Knut, meaning "knot."

CRAWFORD: English byname for someone with splayed feet, transferred to surname then to forename, composed of the Old English elements crawe "crow" and fot "foot," hence "crow-foot."

CULHWCH: Welsh Arthurian legend name of a cousin of King Arthur and hero of the story Culhwch and Olwen, composed of the elements cul "something narrow and straight" and hwch "pig, sow," hence "pig's run." While still pregnant with Culhwch, Goleuddydd went mad after being frightened by a herd of swine. Culhwch was found in the pigs' run by the swineherd and taken to his father. Years later, his stepmother wanted him to marry her daughter; angered by his refusal, she cursed him so that he could never marry anyone but the beautiful Olwen, daughter of Ysbaddaden, a fierce giant who was cursed to die if his daughter ever married.

GWEMBESHE: African Zulu name meaning "bow-legged."

HEPHAESTUS: Latin form of Greek Hephaistos, possibly meaning "seven." In mythology, this is the name of the lame god of artisans, craftsmen, metallurgy and fire. His Roman name is Vulcan. It was from the forge of this god that Prometheus stole fire to give to man. He is also known by the epithet "both feet crooked."

HEPHAISTOS (Ήφαιστος): Greek name said to be pre-Hellenic and of unknown origin, but possibly from the word hepta, meaning "seven." In mythology, this is the name of the lame god of artisans, craftsmen, metallurgy and fire. His Roman name is Vulcan. It was from the forge of this god that Prometheus stole fire to give to man. He is also known by the epithet "both feet crooked."

HOYT: English byname for a tall, skinny person, turned surname turned forename, from Middle English hoit, meaning "long stick."

KADE: Variant spelling of English Cade, "round and lumpy."

KAM: Short form of English Kameron, meaning "crooked nose."

KAMERON: English masculine form of Scottish unisex Cameron, meaning "crooked nose."

KANUT: Short form of Latin Kanutus, meaning "knot."

KANUTUS: Variant spelling of Latin Canutus, meaning "knot."

KNUD: Danish variant form of Scandinavian Knut, meaning "knot."

KNUT: Scandinavian form of Old Norse Knútr, meaning "knot."

KNUTE: Norwegian variant form of Scandinavian Knut, meaning "knot."

KNÚTR: Old Norse byname for a short, squat man, meaning "knot."

KORACH (קׄרַח): Variant spelling of Hebrew Qorach, meaning "bald" or "ice." In the bible, this is the name of a Levite who led a rebellion against Moses and Aaron.

KORAH: Anglicized form of Hebrew Qorach, meaning "bald" or "ice." In the bible, this is the name of a Levite who led a rebellion against Moses and Aaron.

MEALLÁN: Irish Gaelic name which was probably originally a byname for a short stocky person, composed of the elements meall "knot, lump" and a diminutive suffix, hence "little lump."

MELLAN: Variant spelling of Irish Meallán, meaning "little lump."

MIKIO (美樹夫): Japanese name meaning "tree trunk man."

PORCIUS: Roman family name, meaning "pig."

QORACH (קׄרַח): Hebrew name meaning "bald" or "ice." In the bible, this is the name of a Levite who led a rebellion against Moses and Aaron.

RACA (ריקה): Variant spelling of the Aramaic byname Raka, meaning "fool; empty head."

RAKA (ריקה): Aramaic byname meaning "fool; empty head."

SCANLAN: Irish name meaning "scandal."

SCANLON: Variant spelling of Irish Scanlan, meaning "scandal."

WAQUINI: Native American Cheyenne name meaning "hook nose."

FEMALE:

CALVINA: Feminine form of of Italian Calvino, meaning "little bald one."

CAMRYN: English feminine variant spelling of Scottish unisex Cameron, meaning "crooked nose."

CANUTE: Variant spelling of Latin Canutte, meaning "knot."

CANUTTE: Feminine form of Latin Canutus, meaning "knot." In use by the Norwegians.

CORIANDER: English name derived from the spice name coriander (also commonly called Cilantro), from Latin coriandrum, from Greek corys ("bedbug") with the added element -ander "resembling" (referring to the smell of the spice which is similar to the odor of bedbugs), hence "smells like a bedbug."

KAMRYN: English feminine form of Scottish unisex Cameron, meaning "crooked nose."

KANUTTE: Variant spelling of Latin Canutte, meaning "knot." In use by the Norwegians.

PORSCHE: German form of Roman Latin Porcius, meaning "pig." A moon of Uranus was given this name.

PORTIA: English Shakespeare character name derived from Roman Latin Porcius, meaning "pig." A moon of Uranus was given this name.

SEQUOIA: From the Native American Cherokee name of the giant redwood trees that grow in California. The tree was named after the half-blooded scholar George Gist, inventor of the Cherokee alphabet. The name Sequoia ("pig's foot"), was given to him after a hunting accident disfigured his foot.

Blind Date Horror Stories

1) "I met a cute guy on Match.com and we decided to meet for dinner. Things were going well until he said, 'I'm from Staten Island...we don't pump our fists, we pump our chests.' And then he squeezed his pecs." —Kate N.

2) "My friend set me up with a guy who was really into improv. Since I'd taken an improv class in college, we started talking about it. When I mentioned I'm not that great at it, he insisted that we play an improv game—for 30 minutes! In one scene, he even wanted me to pretend to be his mom. Never again." —Anna D.

3) "I recently moved to a new town, and one of my friends insisted on setting me up with this cute guy she knew who was from Austria. He was sweet, and I loved his accent. But things got a little weird when he invited me back to his place and showed off his machete collection. When he started waving one around, I bolted." 

—Brittany W.



4) "My best friend kept insisting for months that I meet her cute, single guy friend. Finally, I caved. She was right—he was cute and single…and totally obsessed with my friend. All he did was talk about her. I finally made up an excuse to end the date early after he asked how happy I thought my friend really was with her boyfriend. Ugh." —Sara W.




5) "One guy I was set up with thought it'd be a good idea to meet at a park and go for a walk on a Sunday afternoon. We wandered around, with no clear destination in mind. About half an hour later, I asked if he had thoughts about what to do next, since I knew of a cute outdoor café a little ways up. But before he listened to my suggestion, he started freaking out. He was like 'I'm so stupid! This was such a dumb idea. I knew I should have planned something else. Ugh. I hate myself.' Um, wow." —Kathryn D.

Website matches targets and hit man

As with other online businesses, the site promised convenience and efficiency.

With a few clicks of the mouse, one could hire a professional hit man ready to kill "at a moment's notice." On the "employment" section of the site, would-be assassins could upload resumes for consideration.

"Thanks to the Internet, ordering a hit has never been easier," read the site HitmanForHire.net, in a chipper, infomercial-like tone.

Most thought it was a joke, including the Web designer in Florida commissioned to create the site. FBI Agent Ingerd Sotelo, who had investigated perhaps half a dozen hit-man cases in her 12-year career, probably wouldn't have taken it seriously if she came across it Web-surfing.

Except there was a terrified 23-year-old woman sitting in front of her, pale with genuine fear, saying someone had used the site to put a $37,000 hit on her head.

::

The man behind HitmanForHire.net showed up at Woodland Hills mortgage broker Anne Lauren Royston's office one Saturday morning in 2006, wearing head-to-toe black and driving a yellow Corvette.

He was middle-aged and tan, with a thick mustache and a heavy accent, and brought along a woman with cigarette breath he called his wife. He carried a black folder holding numerous photos of Royston and an e-mail message: "I want her done by a shot to the head." The message was from her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend.

His client, the man said, had deposited $17,000 for the job.

The hit man calmly told Royston she reminded him of his daughter. Then he made her an offer: Pay him the balance on the contract, and he would let her live. She had three days.

Sotelo, who other agents in the violent crime squad knew as the "prison girl" for the number of federal lockup cases she's investigated, now sat in the same conference room with Royston. It was Tuesday, the deadline the man had given.

Royston easily picked him out in a photo lineup. In either a sophomoric gaffe or a sign of brazen confidence, he had given Royston his real name.

::

Essam Ahmed Eid of Las Vegas seemed an unlikely killer — or at least one who hid it incredibly well. The Egyptian-born man was 51, had a heart condition, and worked as a poker dealer at the Bellagio. He lived in a four-bedroom tract home in North Las Vegas with his family, including a daughter in college.

Sotelo recorded a series of calls to Royston in which Eid and the woman purported to be his wife repeated their demands for money. At the agent's direction, Royston asked for more time to come up with the cash. But a couple of weeks later, the man seemed to disappear.

Following her instincts, the agent pulled up a database of entry and exit records into and out of the United States. Sure enough, Eid, along with a woman named Teresa Engle, had left the country.

But the couple hadn't flown to Eid's native Egypt, or some remote tropical paradise with no extradition treaties with the United States.

Eid, it appeared, was in western Ireland.

Passengers mistake 'mom' for 'bomb'

A pilot who sent birthday greetings to a colleague's "mom" on board triggered panic when passengers thought he said "bomb".

An air traffic controller asked the Southwest Airlines pilot to wish his mother a happy birthday as he flew from Baltimore to New York.

Taking to the plane's intercom, the pilot told passengers that they had a "mom on board" - but man thought he said a "bomb on board".

Panicking passengers asked other members of the crew to clarify what the pilot had said, and were assured that there was no bomb.

Several passengers complained to the authorities about the announcement.

Brandi King, spokesman for Southwest Airlines, said: "The pilot made an announcement that was misunderstood.

"He did clarify with the passengers that he was wishing the mother on board a happy birthday."

In a statement, the Federal Aviation Administration said: "Pilots and controllers will sometimes engage in brief greetings.

"If such conversations go beyond this limit, controllers are counselled to refrain from such unnecessary talk."

WTF NEWS - Mysterious 'Dog-Headed Pig Monster' Terrorizes Africa

Residents in northern Namibia, on the southwest coast of Africa, have reported being terrorized by a bizarre dog-pig hybrid creature. The animal is said to be mostly white and unlike anything the villagers have ever seen, with a doglike head and the broad, round, nearly hairless back and shoulders of a giant pig. The beast was spotted chasing and attacking dogs, goats and other domestic animals in this arid region not far from the Kalahari desert.

Girl sings with her mouth closed Girl sings with her mouth closed

Try it yourself. I dare you.

Even though it was posted in 2009, a video of a young girl singing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star," has recently gone viral. Gaining almost 200,000 views on YouTube since January, the video features the child singing, which usually wouldn't attract that much attention, except this time, she is singing with her mouth completely closed.

WTF NEWS - NUDE FLIGHTS

A Texas travel agency which organises clothing-optional holidays, is to run what it claims is the world's first nude flight. Houston-based Castaways Travel says sex won't be allowed on the flight from Miami to Cancun in Mexico. It has chartered a Boeing 727 for up to 170 passengers for the May 3 flight to the El Dorado Resort & Spa. The crew will be professionally dressed, and passengers must be fully-clothed for check-in and takeoff. Company owner, James Bailey, said more than half the seats on the flight and rooms in the resort have already been booked, reports the Miami Herald. He told the newspaper: ''Inappropriate behaviour is not condoned. This is not a Mile High Club, not a bunch of groupies or anything. It's just a fun flight." Only when the plane has reached its cruising altitude can the passengers strip off. The Federal Aviation Administration said: ''We have no regulations pertaining to nudity on board an aircraft. It's not a safety issue."

WTF NEWS - Lego Thieves

Thieves broke into a children's nursery containing computers and cash but only stole the Lego.

Police said they even stole a plastic brick being used to prop up an alarm clock which had a missing a leg.

Detectives in Offenbach near Frankfurt haven't yet been able to trace the culprits.

A police spokesman said: "We have no idea why the thieves took the Lego and not the more expensive equipment, but it will help them pass the time of day in jail once we have caught them."

Costa Concordia Captain and blonde flirting before ship ran aground?

The blonde tour representative whose beauty allegedly sparked the sinking of the Costa Concordia gave her first newspaper interview Sunday "to set the record straight" about her relationship with the doomed ship's captain.

Domnica Cemortan said she was flirting with Captain Francesco Schettino on the bridge before the ship struck rocks Jan. 13, The Mail on Sunday reported.

The newspaper said it was possible that the smitten captain may have been trying to impress the 25 year old when the ship crashed, as early reports had suggested.

Cemortan revealed that she shared a passionate kiss with 52-year-old Schettino, but denied that they were lovers.

She said, "They are acting as if I'm some sort of femme fatale, but I don't sleep around. Yes, I was very attracted to Captain Schettino, and he was clearly interested in me. I admit that I had a big crush on him because he was very good-looking and very charming."

Cemortan worked on the ship for three weeks, but when her contract ended, she bought herself a ticket for the remainder of the ill-fated cruise. She claimed that her belongings, found in Schettino's cabin, were being stored there as a temporary measure.

"I admit that I was attracted to him, but honestly, we did not have sex," Cemortan said.

However, she went on, "He was always respectful when I was a member of his staff, but once I was a passenger, then it was different. I think we probably would have ended up in bed, eventually, but I never found out because of the crash."

She maintained that the disaster, believed to have killed 32 people, was a "tragic accident" and said that people who accused Schettino of being "Captain Coward" were "looking to find someone to blame."

Schettino remains under house arrest at his home near Naples on suspicion of multiple manslaughter and abandoning ship. He faces up to 15 years in jail if convicted.

Blondes VS. Brunettes - 61 per cent of men would prefer to marry a brunette, but over a third believe blondes are more adventurous in bed!

Blondes may have more fun  -  but it comes at a price. Men don't trust them.

A study found that while fair-haired women are considered to be the most adventurous in bed, brunettes are seen as more reliable in a relationship ... and more sexy.

In a poll of 1,500 men, more than 60 per cent thought dark-haired girls were the most trustworthy and loyal, compared with just 14 per cent of blondes.

The result is men feel brunettes make the best wives.

Some 61 per cent said they would prefer to marry a brunette over women with any other hair colour.

Brunettes were also the most popular choice to have a deep and meaningful conversation with (63 per cent). 

While 34 per cent of men like the blonde-haired glamour model look, 42 per cent said they actually found brunettes sexier.

More than half (51 per cent) also think women with dark hair are better kissers, while 47 per cent think they are the most sensual.

Nevertheless, blondes take the prize in the bedroom stakes  -  36 per cent of men considered those with light hair to be the most wild, while just 31 per cent think of brunettes in the same way.

Commenting on the study for Philips Sensual Massagers, spokesman Karen Moore said: 'Blondes have always had a reputation for being fun, carefree and adventurous and it seems that can also be applied to relationships, as men think they have the best skills when it comes to the bedroom.

'But brunettes seem to have every other aspect of a relationship sewn up, right down to the kissing.

'However, it's interesting that despite thinking blondes are better in bed, men actually see brunettes as being the more passionate.

'This research stands those with dark hair in good stead for a long-term relationship as they look likely to be the best at keeping their other half entertained and happy as well as managing a home and looking after children.'

The study also found men see women with dark hair as more maternal, best at looking after family finances and the best cooks.

Say What Headlines

Cold case solved! Cop caught in the act stealing food from the station fridge

Kevin Yang, a three-year veteran of at Texas police force, has been suspended for stealing coworkers food

Police staged a sting operation to catch one of their own - stealing other officer's food from the police station fridge.

Officer Kevin Yang was caught red handed several times helping himself to food and drink left by his colleagues for their lunch break.

He has been placed on a 30 day suspension and is facing a theft charge after the CCTV film showed him raiding the communal fridge at Deer Park Police station near Houston in Texas.

The station's police chief decided to set up a hidden camera after other officers complained that their food and cans of drink were going missing.

While food going missing from officer fridges is commonplace those who lose out usually leave post-it notes to register the complaint.

But Deer Park Police chief Greg Grigg's decided to use his resources to catch the alleged food thief.

Yang, who had an exemplary records as a police officer during his three years on the force, was filmed taking an unopened Monster energy drink from the rest room fridge.

Three days later he was seen taking a bag from a local sandwich shop marked with a detective's initials.

Then, on November 26, Officer Yang is seen taking another Monster drink and on November 27, he helps himself to another drink marked with a detective's initials.

After being confronted with the taped evidence Yang said he was cleaning up the fridge and getting rid of unwanted food.

During an interview he refused to confirm or deny his guilt.

Deer Park Police Chief Greg Giggs said: 'When you're not putting anything in and you're taking things out, it became clear to us he was taking things knowingly and against the law.'

(WARNING: VIOLENT CONTENT) Some armed person was putting his gun down, and while he did he got shot by police

Chilling moments of a crazed commuter's alleged random attack on a woman as he pushes her on tracks

This is the shocking moment a crazed commuter launched an apparently random attack on a woman - pushing her on to the tracks of the London Underground.

The 23-year-old victim struck up a brief conversation with the thug and following a trivial row over the man's hat, he turned and shoved her on to the rails on the Northern Line at Leicester Square.

She only missed the live rail by inches, and was able to pull herself back onto the platform with the help of other travellers before the next train came down the platform.

Injuries to her side were so severe, witnesses initially thought she had been stabbed.

The incident - highlighted on the BBC's six-part The Tube documentary on Monday night - shows the very real dangers faced by commuters and staff each day.

British Transport Police are still hunting the man behind the vicious assault, describing him as smartly dressed.

They said the incident stemmed from a short argument about the attacker's hat.

The incident took place on Friday, September 16, at about 11.20pm, but police are so keen to find the man they have re-appealed again for more information on the back of the BBC's documentary.

The woman suffered a wound to her side and was taken to hospital, while both platforms of the Northern Line were shut for the rest of the evening.

BTP Detective Sergeant Fin Egan, the investigating officer, said: "This was a dangerous and reckless act which could have had grave consequences had a Tube train been approaching.

"The victim suffered a nasty cut to her side as she landed on the rails, but was able to pull herself back up onto the platform.

"The platform was busy at that time and I am appealing for anyone who recognises the man in the images or who witnessed the incident to get in contact."

Crocodile bites off man's JUNK!

A 70-YEAR-OLD man had his testicles and part of his penis ripped-off by a crocodile while crossing a flooded river.

Jonah Maturure, from Marutaya in Gutu, is just happy to be alive after his terrifying battle with the reptile.
Now recovering at the United Bulawayo Hospitals (UBH), Maturure claims he has a box of TOMATOES to thank for his escape after he dropped it into the water, briefly distracting the croc but long enough for him to swim to safety.

Vegetable farmer Maturure says he was taking a box of tomatoes to a nearby shopping centre when he came across the flooded Chivake River. The water levels were at chest level.

"I was not suspecting anything. I had earlier on crossed the river using the same crossing place,” he told the Bulawayo Sunday News.

The father-of-four had removed his shirt and trousers to remain only in his pants. He put the clothing – which he wanted to remain dry – on top of the box with the tomatoes which he carried on his head.

Midway across the river, Maturure’s worst nightmare was realised when the crocodile leapt at him.
He added: “It grabbed a chunk of my buttocks before attacking my manhood – tearing my testicles into shreds. The skin covering my penis was partly torn, but I quickly put my thumb in its mouth to try and choke it, but it grabbed my hand and I could hear my bones crushing with every squeeze.

"Realising that I was losing the battle, I let go of the box of tomatoes that I was carrying on my head and it fell into the river causing a splash. At that instant, the crocodile released its grip on my hand and ran towards the noise.

“I used the opportunity to walk to the other bank with blood flowing down my legs from the wounds.”

Chris Brown and Rihanna are dangerously close to getting back together, sources close to the ex-couple tell TMZ -- but the singers' friends are desperately trying to keep them apart ... for their own good.

Chris Brown and Rihanna are dangerously close to getting back together, sources close to the ex-couple tell TMZ -- but the singers' friends are desperately trying to keep them apart ... for their own good.

According to sources, Rihanna is still head over heels for Chris -- despite that fateful night 3 years ago when he brutalized her -- and if it weren't for the media and her fans, she would already have taken him back.

We're told Chris also has extremely strong feelings for Rihanna -- current girlfriend be damned.

Now, sources tell us, Rihanna and Chris' friends are terrified they'll get back together -- and they're doing everything they can to prevent a possible reunion.

According to sources, friends on BOTH sides have expressed extremely strong reservations to Ri and CB about spending so much time together ... warning it's a terrible idea ... personally AND professionally.

But with Rihanna's birthday ... Chris and Rihanna's duets released this week ... friends fear they're fighting an uphill battle.

As one source put it, "You can't hold back love."

SNOOKI Banned From Jersey Wine Shop

In an unwise financial move, the wine shop next to Snooki's new Jersey City home wants nothing to do with the little booze guzzlin' blast in a glass ... and even posted a sign on the door to keep her the hell out.

We're told Jwoww ain't welcome in the store either, so the ladies will have to schlepp their bronzed behinds a little further than next door when they want to binge drink for the cameras of their new reality show.

TMZ spoke to the GM at the wine shop ... who tells us, "Even if Jwoww shows up at our front door she will not be let in."

He adds, "The only thing they are good for is ridicule and amusement. There is no upside business wise, and the potential downside is God knows what. Why feed the embarrassment?”

MICHAEL LOHAN Turns Down Burger King Job ... for Florida Radio Gig MICHAEL LOHAN Turns Down Burger King Job ... for Florida Radio Gig

Michael Lohan and The Whopper weren't meant to be after all ... TMZ has learned Lindsay's dad has decided to pass on the Burger King gig ... and instead, he's accepted a job at a Miami radio station. 

TMZ broke the story ... the treatment center where Lohan is seeking court-ordered counseling told Michael to get a job to help transition back into normal functioning society.  

(Reminder: Mike was ordered to complete treatment as part of his plea deal in his domestic violence case)

Mike had initially applied to BK ... but he's since found a better gig with the WiLD 95.5 radio station in Palm Beach, FL.  We're told Mike will primarily take on the grunt work ... but we wouldn't be surprised if they featured him on air from time to time. 


We're told MiLo is planning to donate his entire paycheck to charity.

Teen learns parents' swinging secret on TV

A 15-year-old girl discovered her parents were swingers when she saw footage of them at a sex club on a TV show in Germany.

The teenager got the shock while watching a programme that featured a report on swinging on television channel RTL.

Her mum and dad had apparently agreed to be filmed for the piece because they thought their identities would be disguised.

But the production company forgot to pixelate the couple's faces, reports Munich-based newspaper Suddeutsche Zeitung.

They reacted by seeking damages from RTL for the suffering the family endured after the awkward incident.

However, a judge threw out their compensation claim, as the girl would have had to testify for it to have any chance of being successful, and he did not think that was appropriate.

He told the parents: "I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. That's simply embarrassing."

The judge did ask RTL and the production company to pay the couple a small fee for their appearance in the report and to cover their legal expenses.